Barsexuality is the new black.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
