nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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