Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
