He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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