Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
