Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
