I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
