Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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