i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
