If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize