You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
