called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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