We're facebook friends in real life
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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