I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
