Me too!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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