Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
