No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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