Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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