I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
