She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
