And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
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Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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