Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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