There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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