we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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