Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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