Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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