Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
