I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
