so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
