Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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