I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
