considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So apparently I’m into choking now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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