with your own penis?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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