i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
