Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
