I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
