i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
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Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"