Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just googled if crying burns calories
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.