This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
