im having a threesome with these popsicles
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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