butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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