my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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