Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
