just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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