y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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