Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
