glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Mom said you looked used
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize