I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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