I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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