was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
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Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
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Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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