thus making me awesome and them whores
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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