planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
COCAINE IS GR8
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize