I wanna bring you to show and tell
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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