so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
