I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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