: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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