she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
